25 May 2010

What not to wear

I need to address something that really annoys me. I know that doesn't narrow things down, but bear with me. I've held my tongue for years (well, that's not true—I bitch about this constantly). And I have so many other things to worry about: we just moved (blogpost coming soon, stay tuned), we're crazy at work, I'm trying to potty train my kid...And today, I just couldn't take it anymore. I reached my limit. My boiling point (pun intended, as you will see). So I must speak:

Today in Chicago, it was close to 90 degrees. Hot. For May 25.

There were the requisite flip flops and sundresses and tank tops.

People were out lunching on patios, drinking in beer gardens.

Because it was hot.

But. There were also some Others.

These Others were wearing tights and boots and long-sleeves and coats.


And no, they were not tourists.

They were hopping in cabs like pros.

Waiting at bus stops like locals.

They live here.

They should know better.

And sure, it might snow tomorrow.

It's Chicago.

But in 90 degrees, do as the 90-degree-ers do.

Don't wear turtlenecks.


I was wearing jeans and a "dressy" tank top. Required attire for a creative in advertising.

Because. It. Was. 90. Degrees.

You know I try not to judge (wink).

And I have off fashion days more often than not (honestly, as I looked in my closet this morning, I had to struggle to remember if I'd worn a particular shirt yesterday—but that has less to do with fashion and more to do with how many beers I drank last night).

But my off days do not include dressing weather-inappropriate.

In winter, I wear a hat, scarf, gloves...I look like a snowman.

And in summer (or close to it), I wear summer attire.

I know in places like LA, it's haute couture to wear winter boots with a barely-there sundress.

But this ain't LA.

And we ain't Kate Hudson.

We're efficient. We're practical. We're midwesterners.

So let's think back to that efficient, practical, midwestern childhood we all had and remember that our moms did not dress us in snowsuits in the summer.

Let's remember that even though you got those amazing boots on sale, you can wait until next year.

The reason they're on sale, is because they're last season.

I may revisit this topic this fall, when it's November and people are clinging to their sandals.

But if you could spread the word that this is not only unacceptable, but uncomfortable to witness and generally irritating, that would help my cause greatly.

Thank you for your time.